A meaningful place

Dear God,
I have been thinking back to this essay I wrote a few months ago for a college writing class.

I pull into the straight, gravel driveway and drive toward my destination. A small brick church welcomes me. As I pull in, I observe that the cemetery is oddly beautiful with lovely trees and flowers scattered throughout. The nature-filled air is sweet smelling and rejuvenating. The cemetery is about twenty minutes away from the noisy city streets which allows it to be a secluded, quiet, and peaceful place.

Ironically, I always feel very calm and at peace when I am at the cemetery. Many people avoid cemeteries like the plague because of the sadness of loss that they feel there. Cemeteries often have a bad connotation and are thought of as spooky places. This is not the case for me. I go to the cemetery and I feel renewed and refreshed, not scared or sad. The cemetery is a very meaningful place for me. It is where I have been forced to work through one of the biggest trials in my life: the death of my dad. Each time I go there, I must accept his death. There is no denying it as I look at the place where he is buried. Though this is place where I experience grief, it is also a place where I find joy. I remember the dad that I went fishing with, told jokes with, and sang songs with. I am blessed to have spent so much time with him. Today, I can  have hope because I know where my dad is; he is in heaven. I am so happy that he is spending his eternity with the Lord and one day soon, I will get to be there, too.

Each time I go to the cemetery, it is a time for me to reflect, mourn, rejoice, and ponder. I reflect on my father’s life and the legacy of his faith in God that he left behind for me and my family. I mourn the loss of such a wonderful dad who loved his family and the people around him with such a genuine love. I rejoice because I know that my dad is in heaven enjoying eternity with his God and Savior. I ponder my own life and what my father’s death has taught me. I think about my life and remember that it is not mine, it belongs to the Lord.
While I am there looking at the plot of land that holds my father’s body, I am reminded how short life is and how important it is to live each day of my God-given life with purpose. James 4:14 tells me that my life is only a mist; here for one second and gone the next. I have only a short time here on this earth. This truth becomes all the more real when I visit my father’s gravesite. I do not visit my dad often, but when I do, I experience a new gratefulness for the life I have here on earth. I am thankful for life, I am amazed by the Creator, and I am reminded of my purpose here on earth.
I take a deep breath and breathe in the crisp, cool air. The wind gently brushes against my cheeks. I take one last look at the beauty of the cemetery and I think, “O death, where is your sting?” Christ’s love and sacrifice has given victory over death. I leave the cemetery and I am not filled with grief; instead, I am overflowing with joy and gratefulness to the Creator.

Father, I am so thankful for this piece of my testimony. I am thankful for how you have taught me and grown me.
With love,
Your Secret Admirer

Dear God,
There are some days when life seems terrible and I get so down about myself and my circumstances. The miracle is, though that I always feel an inexpressible peace that can only come from You! I don't deserve it. I sometimes don't even ask for it. You, Lord give me peace! Thank you for loving me and taking care of me even when I cannot give my all to you. I cannot worship you enough. I cannot honor you enough.
With love,
Your Secret Admirer

Fighting the enemy's lies

Dear God,
So often I am plagued by thoughts of insignificance. I look at other people and think, "Who am I compared to them? I am not as respected as they are. I am not as pretty. I am not as privileged. I am not as loved." These are all lies from the enemy. He's trying to gang up on me and tell me that I'm not worth much.
Well you know what Mr. Enemy? Guess who I have on my side? The Creator! The Mighty King! The One who has made everything right according to his plan. The One who cherishes me and loves me.
God, you are on my side and I choose now to fight with You. I will not let the enemy get into my head. God, I pray that I would train hard and work to fill my life with more of You. God, I pray that I would fill my mind with Scripture and prayers; I want to be armed with Your Word as I fight the enemy's lies. When I look to You, my dear Jesus, I do not find feelings of defeat or insignificance. Instead, I find peace; I find hope; I find purpose; I find rest.
In you, Abba, I know that I am loved. I am not missing out on anything. I am right where I am supposed to be.
I praise you Father. I know that I am fearfully and wonderfully made and I am in the middle of Your beautiful plan. May I not forget this. May I be armed with Your Word and the Spirit; ready to take on whatever is thrown at me. I look to You!
With love,
Your Secret Admirer

Give Me Jesus

Dear God,
       I just started a new chapter in my life: COLLEGE!! It's been so great to dive into studying the Bible; I have been learning a ton! It's amazing to see the Bible from a different perspective and to learn more about who You are, God. Thank You for this opportunity You've given me to study! I am so privileged to be able to study at a Christian college.
      Even in the midst of this huge blessing, things have been difficult for me. I don't know if every college student faces these when they first start college, but I have been overwhelmed with feelings of loneliness, and feelings that I won't be able to make it through all of these new changes. I know I am not alone, and I know that You have put me here for a reason, but sometimes it's hard to really believe it.
      Abba, Father, I've been struggling! I need strength to make it through. I need discernment regarding my schedule, what I decide to do/not to do. I need friends! But most of all I need YOU! More and more of YOU.
    Today I came to the song "Give me Jesus" and it was just what I needed to hear. Though I feel like everything is difficult right now, Jesus, YOU are enough to sustain me. Yes, friends are good. Yes, knowledge is good, but God I need YOU to survive and really get through this and really grow!
    Though this is a jumbled mess of thoughts and prayers, God I know You hear me! I pray that as I seek to know You better and seek to learn from You, that you would grow in me and help me to realize how much I really am dependent on You, even just to breathe one breath of air.
With Love,
Your Secret Admirer

Psalm 139:17

Psalm 139:17 (NLT) - How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered!

Dear God,

God, you think about me? It is so awesome to read and to know that the marvelous God of the universe, the one who created EVERYTHING, thinks about me! Ahhh thank you Father, for knowing me, loving me, and thinking about me!

With love,

Your Secret Admirer